Memory
by Rosesdancinginmymind
Summary: Anon asked: iii) (non-established SQ) After Cora came back all the terrible things she did to Regina came back to her. So even after Cora dies Regina is still scared and insecure. Emma helps.


_Anon asked: iii) (non-established SQ) After Cora came back all the terrible things she did to Regina came back to her. So even after Cora dies Regina is still scared and insecure. Emma helps._

_Thanks for the prompt anon. TW for mentions of abuse. _

* * *

_"Mother don't! Please I'm sorry!" Regina cries out as she backs away from her mother. She winces as she hits the wall knowing this means there is no escape. She didn't mean to drop that cup. She didn't mean for it to spill all over the floor. Cora won't listen to her pleas. She stalks closer until she towers over her trembling daughter, "You foolish clumsy girl" she hisses first slapping her before using her magic to restrain Regina. _

_She leaves her for an hour pinned to that wall. An hour in which Regina stays still. She knows not to fight anymore. She knows fighting just means she stays trapped for longer. _

_She fights for breath as the hour goes by wondering if Cora will ever return to let her go. She leaves her for longer and longer each time. Regina gasps trying to draw in deep breaths. _

_Part of her wishes she could just pass out and let go. Then it would all be over and she would be free. _

_But she can't. She keeps fighting. She keeps fighting because she still has Daniel. There's still someone who would miss her were she dead. Her father would too but all he does when he sees his daughter tied to a wall by invisible forces is sigh sadly and walk away. _

_Eventually her mother returns. She waves her hand and lets her daughter fall to the ground. "Oops." she smiles coldly before leaning in close to Regina and parroting the young girl's pleas from earlier, "Sorry I didn't mean it." _

* * *

Regina wakes with a start, cold sweat beading down her back as she clutches at the sheets holding her down. She throws them off immediately needing to be free of the suddenly restrictive bedding.

She stands up because she can before pacing the room trying to get rid of her adrenaline and fear.

Her mother has been dead for two weeks but she can't shake the memories.

Ever since Cora's return to Storybrooke the memories have assailed her dreams. The lessons and rules have re-emerged bellowing through her head so she cannot ignore them.

She can't stand it.

She thought she was free but she feels like that scared little girl again. Her mother is dead and yet still she cannot escape. She has to be good, to do better. Follow the rules and then she won't be punished.

After all everyone still sees her as bad. There must be a reason for it. Lately she's been thinking her mother was right. Maybe it's just her. Maybe she is just bad.

She sinks to the floor letting herself cry into her knees. No-one comes to soothe her. No-one ever has.

* * *

She goes to the Diner and as usual there are a few accusatory glares and murmurs. She doesn't even hold her head up to challenge them.

_Why wouldn't they look at you like that darling? All you are to them is an evil queen. They don't love you. The people will never really love you. _

Her mother's voice rings in her ears and she sinks into her seat.

It's twenty minutes before anyone even comes to take her order.

_You don't even have their respect. What kind of queen are you?_

Queen of nothing Regina thinks. She has nothing.

Her meal comes and she thanks the waitress quietly before tentatively starting. Her mind replays her mother's rules as she eats. _Sit up straight. Small bites. Don't chew like a peasant. Elbows away from the table. _

So many rules. Too many rules. The memories of breaking those rules back them up.

_A smack to the face for dropping a fork. _

_Beatings for an improper curtsey. _

_Whipped for spilling food down her dress. _

_Choked for not finishing her dinner _

Her hands shakes as her mind floods with memories of rules and punishments. It's all too much. She feels sick. She feels like her mind is suffocating her.

She feels like her mother is there, her gaze burning into her putting pressure on her to obey until she feels as if there's no escape.

Her hand shakes from terror but she has to finish the meal. She has to finish. _It's rude not to. _

She gasps as the food slips from her fork, her trembling hand causing it land on her shirt.

"Oh no" she mutters as she puts the fork down and sees the sauce staining the white blouse.

_How clumsy. _

She freezes as she remembers a dress being ripped from her body and then used as a gag whilst her mother used magic to beat her.

She can feel her breaths coming out in sharp pants as she begins to hyperventilate.

_Foolish clumsy girl. _

Hot tears slip down her face as she curses herself for her clumsiness. She tries to calm herself down but her mother's voice continues to ring in her ears.

"Regina do you want a towel?" Ruby asks having seen the spill of the pasta. She holds out the towel but Regina continues to look right past her. She frowns before putting her hand on the woman's shoulder.

When she does Regina goes rigid and a whimpers. Ruby's frown deepens and she backs away. She pauses unsure of what to do before dialling the one person who she thinks can handle this.

* * *

When Emma arrives in the Diner, the former queen is beneath the table rocking back and forth. Ruby catches her arm, "I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to call."

Emma nods. The only person Regina truly has is Henry and she can tell straight away that he would not be able to help in this case. She can see that the other woman is in the throes of a panic attack. She winces seeing seeing how terrified Regina looks.

They might not always see eye to eye but Emma can't stand to see the other woman so scared. She has hopes that they could be friends, maybe even more somewhere down the line. Right now all she wants is to help Regina.

She walks over and kneels down in front of the table. "Regina?" she asks softly.

The brunette looks up at her and Emma immediately sees the red tear-stained cheeks and the dark circles under her eyes from sleepless nights. Her heart pangs at seeing Regina look so timid and afraid. Aside from when their son has been in danger, Emma has never seen the woman look so scared. Even when their son was in the hospital Regina was still confident he could be saved. Now she just looks eerily uncertain.

"Regina" Emma repeats quietly trying to smile in a reassuring way. "It's Emma."

At that Regina looks at her and Emma sighs in relief when the other woman seems to actually be looking at her. She pauses wondering what to say, "Can you come out?"

Regina shakes her head. "Can I come under?" Emma asks and this time Regina pauses chewing her lip before eventually nodding.

Emma smiles before scooting underneath the table and facing Regina. "What's going on?"

Regina sniffs before pointing to the stain on her shirt. "I spilled my sauce."

The haunted way she says it tells Emma there's a lot more going on than that. "Okay. We can clean that up ya know?"

"Don't be clumsy. Don't spill things. Be tidy." Regina recites and Emma winces hearing the cold and clearly regulated tone of something that Regina has clearly had drummed into her.

She's never heard it before, not before Cora. _Cora _Emma thinks in realisation. She recognises Regina's tone from her time in the system.

"Regina. It's okay. Let's just get you cleaned up okay? No-one's going to hurt you. No-one's going to punish you. I won't let them okay?"

"Promise?" Regina asks.

Emma nods, "I promise. It's going to be okay. Do you want to go get your shirt cleaned up?" she asks holding out her hand.

Regina eyes it warily for a few seconds before slowly slipping her hand into Emma's. Emma smiles at the tentative touch before squeezing Regina's hand reassuringly. She helps them both out from under the table before leading Regina out of the Diner.

The brunette ducks her head to avoid the stares of the other people in the Diner. Upon noticing that Emma stops before pulling her forward. She puts a comforting arm around Regina's waist before walking her to her waiting Bug.

The drive home is silent with Regina staring straight ahead, her thoughts clearly else where. Emma's worry only grows when they approach the mansion and Regina barely moves. If anything she eyes the house with fear.

Emma ends up having to help her up into her bedroom so she can change her shirt. She's about to leave the room to give Regina some privacy when she sees that the brunette has made no move to find a new shirt.

Instead she's covering her mouth as her chest heaves with sobs. She can see Regina trying to curl into herself in an attempt to make herself smaller. She watches from the doorway as Regina suddenly jumps off of the bed before trying to run out of the room.

_She's in trouble. She knows she's in trouble. _

_She didn't mean to rip her mother's dress. She just slipped. As soon as she did it she ran. She saw her mother's icy glare and the way her lips curled up in a sneer so she ran away. _

_She ran to her room and tried to hide under her bed. She curls up tightly hoping it means she'll be safe. _

_She freezes as she hears footsteps enter her room. She can feel her mother's anger radiating through the room. _

_She gasps as she feels a cold hand wrap around her ankle and pull her out from under the bed. She screams before kicking out. Her mother winces in pain before dropping her young daughter. Regina takes the opportunity to run only for her mother to appear in front of her in a cloud of smoke. _

_"You're going nowhere darling" her mother tells her as her fingernails dig into Regina's arms. _

"Shit! Regina!" Emma yells in surprise before catching Regina in her arms. Regina thrashes still thinking of her mother's actions after capturing her that night. "Hey. Ssh" Emma says soothingly as she tries to get Regina to calm down. She holds Regina tightly before pulling them down to the ground. "Hey. Hey. It's alright. It's me. It's Emma. You're okay." She repeats herself over and over until Regina stops fighting and begins sobbing.

Emma places one hand on Regina's head and the other on her back as she ends up rocking the brunette. "Ssh" she says quietly until Regina's sobs begin to stop. She keeps rubbing circles on her back and running fingers through her hair until Regina looks up at her, "Emma?" she asks shakily.

"Hey" Emma says in response with a small smile.

"Why are you here?" Regina asks still not moving from Emma's protective embrace.

Emma shrugs, "I didn't want to leave you alone."

"Really?" Regina asks shocked. She didn't think anyone cared about her let alone about making sure she was okay.

Emma nods, "Really. It seems like you need someone. How you feeling now?"

"Better" Regina replies honestly. She does. Just having someone here is helping. Having someone who wants to look after her and make sure she's okay helps to dispel her mother's words that no-one cares. Being wrapped in protective arms helps push away the memories of punishments for the time being.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?" Emma asks.

Regina sighs, "My mother," she pauses, "My mother had a lot of rules. She didn't like to be disobeyed. When she came back so did everything else. I can't make them stop."

"Make what stop?"

"The memories. I just feel like a scared little girl all over again Emma. I can't get her voice out of my head."

Emma frowns. "Do you hear her now?"

"No" Regina admits with a smile.

"Maybe you just need a friend to help you?" Emma suggests.

"Are you offering?" Regina asks. Her tone comes out dry to try and conceal her hope and fear.

Emma smiles at her, "I'm offering."

At that Regina smiles back before resting against Emma's shoulder, "I'd like that. Can you stay?"

"Of course. What are friends for?" she asks in a bright tone hoping that she can help Regina through this. For now she knows being here will be enough.

_Thanks for reading :) _


End file.
